this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
