True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
