I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
