i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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