do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
