ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
