Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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