Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
