i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
