Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
if only i could text you this smell
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
