when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
