I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
