Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
