she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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