Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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