32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
