I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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