Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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