So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
