first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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