Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
