I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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