She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
