I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
