i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
