Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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