Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
