STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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