She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
