3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
