Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize