can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize