You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think people are normalizing furries
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
