so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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