Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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