where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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