youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just had sex on a roof
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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