Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
