She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
