Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
