He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
