If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize