I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
