Moan for me like Helen Keller
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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