I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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