Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
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