It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize