Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just threw up on my dentist
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
