did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
