Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
