he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
