I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
