I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
