I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
