where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My sheets look like a crime scene.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
