Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
sex in a hospital.. check
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
