You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My liver just had a heart attack.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
