actually, I'm a sock model
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think my vagina is haunted
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
