is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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