well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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