If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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