when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
