did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
