Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
