First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
