I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
only you would photoshop your dick
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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