oh god the rape fog is back!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
