the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
