Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
