It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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